surprised

gradeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees! 

sociology - A

diet & nutrition - A

yoga - A 

basic musicmanship - B

human anatomy II - C

.. way better than i anticipated. 

i expected to fail anatomy hardcore. 

so with that, i'm pretty pleased with the outcome of this semester, considering i didn't do most of my music theory homework until last minute. i think the only class i really kept up with was anatomy.. because that seems to be the one that will be a deal breaker come time to apply for a program. 

nathan's off all this week and he's in the living room playing red steel. what a bum. 

lurking turking

thanksgiving is tomorrow ! woo 

food. and tons of it. 

umm updates: 

i got my classes set up for ODU. it's now just a matter of resolving a stupid residence issue, because the university probably lost my in-state tuition application, and they're telling me i'm out-of-state. fuck no i'm not!! morons. this is the second strike for ODU. failures.. ugh

i'm feeling waaaaay better than i did last week. now the problem is that nathan is sort of sick. he's self diagnosed himself to have tonsillitis or something magical. who knows. he refuses to see a doctor. typical male. 

it was nice to hang out with sara and colleen over the weekend. even though i probably beat them to death wandering all over the mall on a search for a winter coat. successful journey. yes. 

yesterday, i magically inherited a bridal set from my mom. she was going to take the rings to long jewelers to get resized and she came by my work to bring me lunch, had me try the rings on and when she saw they fit me, she told me i could have them. pretty sweet deal. haha. it's just what i needed  even though nathan and i aren't truly engaged, it's sorta neat to have a ring that serves as a physical reminder/sign to other males that i am haaaappily taken. 

zsdfxcghvjknlm. i'm excited that i don't have to work on black friday. barelksjfdlj

i'll come back and edit this post. or just write a new one. i'm out of ideas on what to write about.

called out of work

watching youtube videos that rish sends me.. and one had lyrics to this song.. thought it was cute 

Simple As It Should Be 
Tristan Prettyman

Put your hands to my hands
Put your knees to my knees
Put your eyes to my eyes
Come on baby compliment me

Cause I don’t think that we
Should ever feel the need to worry
Ever get ourselves in a hurry
You know I love you
I know you love me

So time will go
And we may be
Far apart I know
But as far as I can see
This is so good
There’s no need for change
It’s alright with me
It’s as simple as it should be
Simple as it should be

And this love will build 
Through flights and streets
In the end I predict
You’ll get the very best of me

So put your lips to my lips
Why not go on and take all of it
And just run as fast as you can
Just cause you can

Cause time will go
And we may be
Far apart I know
But as far as I can see
This is so good
There’s no need for change
It’s alright with me
It’s as simple as it should be
Simple as it should be

I am almost 23
Confused with all the lines in between
They are dying to be read
Softly spoken simply said

Tell me do you believe
In the girl that is me
With her feet to your feet
Well that’s all that I need

Cause time will go
And we may be
Far apart I know
But as far as I can see
This is so good
There’s no need for change
It’s alright with me
It’s as simple as it should be
Simple as it should be

this is what i feel like.

and no, i didn't actually poop after this post. 

transcript

well shit, i've got less than a month left to get my act together to make sure i don't fail any of my classes this semester. my TCC transcripts need to make it to ODU by the end of december.. and i'm sure my classes are far from perfect.. 

predictions

music theory - B or C 

anatomy 142 - C or D  (<-- yea , i know. kicking my ass)

yoga - A

sociology - A or B 

nutrition - A 

failure is NOT an option. 

i might take up the hygienist's offer at nathan's dentist's office -- she said i could start shadowing over there for my ODU dental application. shadowing or dental assisting, my admission into the program rests on my grades. i'm giving serious consideration to doing another semester at TCC and retaking anatomy and graduating with my associate's degree, because i've heard that if you have that, your grades don't matter for the program. it just sounds like a lazy way out .. or maybe i'll be brutal and dual-enroll. take one class at TCC and then the majority of them at ODU. who knows. whatever. 

just a thought . 

ode to nathan explosion

Love Is Patient

Love is patient,
love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil,
but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

tonight -- 

we were laying in bed and i grew bored of watching that actor's studio or whatever shit on bravo with john lipton. i stared off into space as nathan sat glued to the tv. he looked at me every few seconds to see what i was staring at / doing and eventually asked me what was up.. of course, i said NOTHING. then he started staring off at the ceiling. things got quiet. 

 he wrapped his arms around me and just held me, then i started crying. good job meee. he kept asking what was wrong and i eventually told him that hearing about the military alone scared me, and that it's been causing me to lose sleep because it's the last thought on my mind before i pass out. we talked in depth about it, and he held me the whole time, wiping my tears and consoling me.. and he explained that he's looking at everything in regards to the future: job security, money, insurance.. the whole nine yards. he also told me that he needs to sacrifice now for the very thing he wants to provide for... me.. and our future children. 

 

 i'm glad he's serious about a future together. i'm afraid of the fact that his decision to join the air force has practically been made, and now it's just a matter of time until he walks into the recruiter's office and he gets shipped off to boot camp. 

 It's hard to say that I won't crumble and break apart when that time comes for me to surrender nathan to the air force. feeling like shit when you (temporarily) part ways with someone is natural. nathan and i have experienced that first-hand when i left for the philippines. in that case, i came back after a month, and it won't be the same way with the air force. as i've said before, i'm not a big fan of the idea because i'm scared of losing him. inevitably, that will ALWAYS be a constant fear. 

 

i wish i could say that i'm ready to take on the challenges of being an air force girlfriend/fiancee/wife but i'm not prepared. then again, who's to say what prepared is and what is unprepared. from what i understand, nothing is ever cut and dried when it comes to being a military man's significant other. hopefully if (and when) the time comes, i'll be more at ease about this sore subject.. and more willing to face the truth of what lies ahead of me for the next 20 years.. or however long nathan chooses to stay in the air force. 

Our conversation on AIM

after he took me home tonight.. Bold = me, not bold = him.. 

• i feel like i'd pick myself up and follow you.. it sounds stupid but i dont know
• No
  
• You need to finish school
  
• i will
  
• when i finish it ill get off my ass and find you
  
• Sounds like a plan
  
• i wish you could just get stationed in langley
  
• That's the hope
  
• or even andrews AFB
  
• there's cherry point in NC
  
• Cross that bridge when I get to it
  
• i don't know how else to say / convey the fact that this scares me
  
• I've seen it in your face and the way you behave when its brought up
  
• i'll be up front and say that one of my biggest fears is losing you to some random ho in the middle of some bumfuck base nowhere
  
• Please
  
• i know it's not you but i get scared
  
• a stupid thing to be afraid of
  
• You've seen my sexdrive ( lackthereof), ill be fine
  
• im not perfect and i dont want you to find "perfect" in someone else
  
• i have soo many insecurities
  
• i need to get over myself
  
• I know
  
• Just concern yourself first and foremost about stationing
  
• i hope you dont end up in south dakota or al udeid wheerver that is
  
• that kid who had a party in chesapeake and we went with merishna a long time ago is in middle east or something
  
• I'm worried about ending up overseas
  
• but he does pararescue
  
• joe's going to italy
  
• I know
  
• i don't want to rush it but if you go overseas i hope we're at least engaged/married
  
• i never thought i'd try to push the issue and either of those are probably the wrong way to go with it
  
• I know that thought has come across my mind too
  
• i just don't want to be alone
  
• i never thought i'd have that come in such a hurry
  
• i always thought after college maybe 2-3 years after graduation he'd drop the bomb on me
  
• 11:39 PM
  
• my mind hurts
  
• I know
  
• I walk around my stupid ass job thinking about this shit all day
  
• i doubt i'll get a job any time soon
  
• 5-6 hrs / week
  
• Ew
  
• i wish i was 10 and that i was still a trooper with deployment
  
• :-(
• And I haven't even joined yet
  

i'm not a spiritual/religious person but maybe this is a test of faith, perseverance, and most of all, love. 

we'll make it through.. 

birthday present clues

-it's small enough to fit inside of nathan's trunk, next to his big subwoofers.. 

-costs at least $100+

-not live, so obviously not an animal

-nathan doesn't shop for clothing, so it's not clothes

-nathan said the item has only been out for a month according to the saleslady who helped him, so i probably haven't even seen the item yet

-item has no scent, so not perfume..

-not a gift card, not monetary

-casey suggested he gives me the present in front of everyone at dinner

-casey says it's NOT a ring

blah