Bells

Taken from Notes..

This isn't much of a note, but more like a realization. Maybe I just had a lot of time to zone out and think during the wedding on Saturday. Or, it could be that looking at yesterday's wedding pictures made me think about stuff again.

Events such as weddings and whatever else make me wonder about my future. Well.. not just mine, but everyone's future. Where will we all be in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years? Will we all be settled down? Which one of us will still be playing the field? Who is going to be CEO of a big company? The questions are endless.

Sitting and watching everyone at Nathan's mom's wedding yesterday made me think about the aforementioned life questions. There were young children at the wedding that were obviously too young to care about finding "the one" and there were older couples who sat and watched the wedding. Both ages are at different stages of life, young vs. old. Many of the guests at the reception fell between the ages of 15 and the 60's and beyond. It's cute watching little kids hold hands and seeing elderly people still in love with their significant other. I guess for now, all I can do is hope I grow old with my love (<-- insert "AWWW"). 

As we all know, for the most part, it's a tradition that the bride throws her bouquet towards the single ladies surrounding her, and only one girl/woman will walk away with the bouquet. She will supposedly be "the next one to get married." The bouquet got tossed, young girls in front of me stood and watched as it fell to the floor before me, yet no one dove for it. I reached down for it, and sat it down on the table. I don't want to be labeled as "next in line for marriage." Catching the bouquet meant nothing to me because I'm not ready for marriage, but I wondered if down the road if bouquet-catching will be the goal for unmarried women at every wedding. I don't want to be 27 years old and chasing flying bouquets and hoping I'd get married in the years to follow. The bouquet sits in a vase in the corner of this room, along with the pink rose nathan had pinned to his suit. Though weddings are not something I wonder about on a regular basis, little advertisements and photos in magazines I buy get me thinking about how I want my wedding to be. Maybe it'll be held during the spring. Colors? Teal, or random shades of it. The dress? Has to be something that I would love to see in my closet for the rest of my life. Versace wedding gown? HA. I want a small intimate wedding with close friends and family, perhaps have it be outdoors, maybe indoors as long as the place looks beautiful. I've never really given much thought to how I want my wedding to look. All I know is that when that day comes, I hope that the dress I wear and the man that I marry will make me feel like the most beautiful woman on earth. I still need to work on the "looking beautiful" part. I've got a boyfriend that makes me feel like I'm on top of the world already.

 I totally skipped the engagement part. Neal proposed to Nathan's mom through a Valentine's Day card which simply stated, "Will you be my wife?" If and when that time comes, I wonder how that question will be presented to me, and who will be the one asking me to marry them. I've been told I'm not getting married until I'm 50 years old and that I'm not getting married period. I hope I don't have to wait until I'm 50, and I hope I do get married, especially with the right man. But, since I've said what colors I think I want for my "dream" wedding, and how I want it to go, I guess I'll divulge in engagement details. 

To whom it may concern: When it comes time to attempt marrying me, I hope your proposal sweeps me off my feet (not literally) and surprises me (in a good way). Watch some chick flicks and you'll get ideas. Keep in mind that I don't want the usual drop on one knee and open up a ring box. Be creative. I'm creative. Make sure your idea goes through my best friend first. She'll let you know if your proposal will pass/fail. When all else fails, take me to Tiffany & Co. and I'll take care of things from there. All you have to do is agree with everything I say.

BUT.. it's not about the proposal, the wedding, the dress, or the diamond rings, and the resulting joint bank accounts. It's the fact that you're dedicating yourself to love your significant other for the rest of your life. You're promising that you will support, love, and protect each other, and that you won't need anyone else in life. You're opening your life to another person and sharing it with them. Your search for a soul mate is over. I'm probably too young to say this but I hope I'm not alone when I feel that I don't have to find another love.. whatever.

I hate thinking.

This is so stupid it's driving me insane.

Never entertain thoughts about engagement/marriage. Too much to think about. For now, just focus on my upcoming birthday. November 7. Get me presents.